{"id":818,"date":"2024-10-16T22:39:43","date_gmt":"2024-10-16T22:39:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/?p=818"},"modified":"2025-08-19T23:13:48","modified_gmt":"2025-08-19T23:13:48","slug":"ziggy-stardust-the-chonky-goddess-of-sleep","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/ziggy-stardust-the-chonky-goddess-of-sleep\/","title":{"rendered":"ZIGGY STARDUST \u2013 The Chonky Goddess of Sleep"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Self-Introduction:<\/strong>
“I am Ziggy Stardust. Chonky Goddess of Sleep. Empress of the Sunbeam. My reign is vast and uninterrupted, for I have perfected the art of Doing Absolutely Nothing. The others waste their lives chasing laser dots and causing chaos\u2014amateurs. I do not rush; I wait. Snacks arrive. Beds warm themselves beneath me. Doors open eventually. I am patience, I am power. I am\u2026 very soft.”<\/p>\n\n

\"\"What the Others Say:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

Charlotte:<\/strong>
“She\u2019s basically a couch with fur. If \u2018strategic immobility\u2019 was a Hogwarts subject, she\u2019d be Head Girl. Slytherin, my ass\u2014more like Sloth-erin<\/em>.”<\/p>\n\n

Luna:<\/strong>
“She claims to be cunning, but her idea of a master plan is lying on top of the snacks so no one else can get them. Which\u2026 okay, that\u2019s actually pretty smart. Still. She drools.”<\/p>\n\n

Lilith:<\/strong>
“Her aura is static. I have felt the same vibe from an unplugged fridge. She is a vessel of stillness. Also, she sat on my ritual stones once and nothing has been the same since.”<\/p>\n\n

Tartiflette:<\/strong>
“She\u2019s like a giant pillow that sometimes yells at me when I jump on her face. I think she loves me. Or hates me. Hard to tell. She smells like naps.”<\/p>\n\n

Karen (a.k.a. Me):<\/strong>
“She came into my life after being thrown from a moving car, and despite her brain damage, she decided she\u2019s just not going to give a single fuck about anything ever again. She\u2019s the calm eye in the middle of the hurricane that is this house. I respect her. Even if she snores louder than Collateral Damage.”<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Self-Introduction:“I am Ziggy Stardust. Chonky Goddess of Sleep. Empress of the Sunbeam. My reign is…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":819,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[112,391,54,298,81,46,386,387,38,114,49,389,392,53,393,388,390,69],"class_list":["post-818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ziggysvibe","tag-cat-blog","tag-cat-household-dynamics","tag-cat-humor","tag-cat-personalities","tag-catopia-adventures","tag-cats-of-hiss-and-tell","tag-chonky-cat","tag-feline-goddess","tag-funny-cat-blog","tag-funny-cat-tales","tag-funny-cats-blog","tag-lazy-cat-royalty","tag-nap-queen","tag-pet-humor","tag-pet-introductions","tag-plush-tabby-cat","tag-soft-cats","tag-ziggy-stardust"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/Ziggy-banner.webp","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/818","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=818"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/818\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":827,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/818\/revisions\/827"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=818"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=818"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=818"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}