{"id":813,"date":"2025-08-19T22:27:27","date_gmt":"2025-08-19T22:27:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/?p=813"},"modified":"2025-08-19T21:43:12","modified_gmt":"2025-08-19T21:43:12","slug":"lunas-coo-log","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/lunas-coo-log\/","title":{"rendered":"LUNA’S COO LOG"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Operation: Google the Blob Thing (In Secret, So Charlotte Doesn\u2019t Call Me Stupid)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time Stamp:<\/strong> 10:13 AM
Location:<\/strong> Under the desk, next to the router, full Wi-Fi bars. Tactical position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A chaotic Google session it is.
Starring: Luna<\/strong> (freaked out but pretending to be composed), Tartiflette<\/strong> (absolutely no help), and Charlotte<\/strong> (hovering over Luna’s shoulder, judging everything. <\/em>No help either<\/em>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone’s trying to understand these “meningofandangos” and Google is not cooperating. Autocorrect is drunk. Ads are popping up. Tartiflette is clicking things. Someone (Tarti, this means you) accidentally buys a used stethoscope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Objective:<\/strong>
Research Mom\u2019s brain invaders.
Learn the correct terminology.
Understand implications.
Stop calling them \u201cmeningocornettos.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Search Attempt #1:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cTwo brain oomas\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Results:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  • \u201cDid you mean: brain tumors<\/em>?\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • \u201cWhat are olfactory hallucinations?\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • \u201c10 signs you may already be dead\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    Status:<\/strong> Off to a disturbing start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n\n\n\n

    Search Attempt #2:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n

    \u201cMeninjamama tumors head\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

    Top results:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    • Ninja-themed baby shower decor<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • A Buzzfeed quiz: \u201cWhich brain lobe are you based on your star sign?\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • An image of a fruit basket?<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      Status:<\/strong> The query was last seen heading toward a rabbit hole with no intention of returning.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n\n\n\n

      Charlotte (hovering):<\/strong>
      \u201cWhat the hell is a meninjamama?? Are you researching brain tumors or hosting a brunch??\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n\n\n\n

      Search Attempt #3:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n

      \u201cMenengina\u201d
      (Immediately corrected to \u201cvaginal health supplements<\/em>\u201d)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

      Luna:<\/strong>
      SCREAMING INTERNALLY<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n\n\n\n

      Tartiflette (suddenly appears):<\/strong>
      \u201cOoooh is this the Snack Machine Window? Can I click the flashing button that says \u2018WIN A SCAN\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n\n\n\n

      Charlotte:<\/strong>
      \u201cIf you let the baby click one more ad<\/strong> about toe fungus, I am removing your clipboard. Permanently. Stay still Chimpi!!!!!!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n\n\n\n

      Search Attempt #4:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n

      \u201cMeningee\u2026 oh god. Brain blobs. Head invaders. Human cranial houseguests.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

      Results:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n
      • Klaat<\/em>u<\/em> barada nikt<\/em>o<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • \u201cYou\u2019re not alone: What to do when your brain grows a guest.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • WebMD article that says she\u2019s probably fine, but also might be dying.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

        Luna:<\/strong>
        \ud83e\udd21<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n\n\n\n

        Pop-up ad appears:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n

        \u201c\ud83d\udc80 Buy bulk MRI stickers for your homeschool anatomy class! \ud83d\udc80\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

        Tartiflette (clicks instantly):<\/strong>
        \u201cI BOUGHT 73.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n\n\n\n

        Charlotte (snatching laptop):<\/strong>
        \u201cThat\u2019s it. Move. You\u2019re banned. You too. I\u2019m starting over.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Charlotte\u2019s Search:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n

        \u201cMeningeemoma + cat-friendly explanation + small words\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

        Top result:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \n
        • \u201cMeningiomas are typically benign tumors arising from the meninges, the protective membranes covering the brain and spinal cord\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

          Charlotte:<\/strong>
          \u201c\u2026Aha. Finally. Real info.\u201d
          Pause.<\/em>
          \u201c\u2026Wait. Protective membranes?<\/em> Like\u2026 saran wrap??\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \n\n\n\n

          Luna (quietly):<\/strong>
          \u201cI told<\/em> you they sounded squishy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \n\n\n\n

          Final Summary:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \n
          • Nobody still knows how to say it.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
          • Charlotte found some real answers, then rage-quit when she learned humans just \u201cwatch and wait.\u201d That\u2019s the calico for you.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
          • Tartiflette accidentally signed them up for a neuroscience webinar hosted by \u201cDr. Bob and his Ferret.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
            \n\n\n\n

            Conclusion:<\/strong>
            We are no closer to understanding the blobs.
            But now we have 73 MRI stickers, a used purple stethoscope, a fear of WebMD, and a mystery ferret named Dr. Bob.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Still calling them the mango-nomas<\/strong> until further notice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2014
            Luna, COO, Confused Googler, Smell Sympathizer<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

            <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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