{"id":417,"date":"2025-06-24T13:54:00","date_gmt":"2025-06-24T13:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/?p=417"},"modified":"2025-08-02T16:19:26","modified_gmt":"2025-08-02T16:19:26","slug":"%f0%9f%90%belunas-official-coo-log-stardate-meningeyma-crisis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/%f0%9f%90%belunas-official-coo-log-stardate-meningeyma-crisis\/","title":{"rendered":"\ud83d\udc3eLUNA\u2019S OFFICIAL COO LOG, STARDATE: MENINGEYMA CRISIS"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n

Password protected. No humans. No Charlotte. Definitely not the miniature LuPone. No spellcheck.<\/em><\/p>\n\n

\"\"09:06 AM \u2014 Alarm triggered.<\/strong>
Iaia went to da vet for humans (called\u00a0new-row-loggy\u00a0or somesuch) and came back with scary papers.\u00a0Something about a\u00a0mini-goomba. Or was it a\u00a0meninja?\u00a0No wait\u2014Meninguini. Whatever it is, it\u2019s living rent-free in her head and it does not contribute to cuddle duties. Shame.<\/p>\n\n

09:07 AM \u2014 Charlotte having existential breakdown.<\/strong>
She has locked herself in the bathroom, whispering “this changes everything” and accusing Tartiflette of \u201cinviting it in with her chaos.\u201d She\u2019s pacing like a noir detective. I offered her a calming tail-nuzzle. She slapped me. That\u2019s the calico for you.<\/p>\n\n

09:09 AM \u2014 Attempted intervention with Tartiflette.<\/strong>
She asked, \u201cIS IT A COOKIE?!\u201d. She tried to lick the head MRI scan results. She knocked them off the table. She\u2019s now calling it \u201cthe brain raisin\u201d and wants to befriend it. I fear she may build it a shrine.<\/p>\n\n

09:13 AM \u2014 Ziggy Stardust wandered in, stared blankly at the scan, and wandered out.<\/strong>
I think she understands quantum neurology but refuses to explain. Classic Ziggy.<\/p>\n\n

09:16 AM \u2014 Emergency staff meeting called.<\/strong>
Lilith demanded answers and started drawing occult symbols on the fridge in almond butter and trying to get Charlotte\u2019s pickles for some ritual or another.
Charlotte is drafting a very nasty open letter to The Brain Raisin.
Tartiflette is in the pantry claiming she \u201cfeels it in her toes calling her.\u201d We need boots for this rascal sooner than later.
Ziggy is napping on the printer.
I am surrounded by idiots.<\/p>\n\n

09:24 AM \u2014 Charlotte tried to put on Iaia\u2019s glasses and declare herself \u201cChief of Medicine.\u201d<\/strong>
She diagnosed the MRI as:
\u2003\u2022 One (1) Evil Spot
\u2003\u2022 Three (3) Ghosts of Smells Past. Iaia cannot smell much anymore.
\u2003\u2022 Five (5) Broken Chocolates. Iaia cannot eat chocolate anymore.
She\u2019s also banned coffee in protest because it smells bad to iaia now. I am hiding the beans, Collateral Damage is going to need them.<\/p>\n\n

09:31 AM \u2014 Tartiflette now says the Meningeenee is her brain twin.<\/strong>
She wants to name it Nugget\u00a0and\u00a0she says Nugget tells her secrets. Sansi Bar it is. I am officially requesting hazard pay.<\/p>\n\n

\"\"10:00 AM \u2014 Final report for now:<\/strong>
\u2003\u2022 The Karen is fine. A little tired, a little overwhelmed, with memory holes, she cannot smell, she cannot taste what she cooks, but she is still the Queen of Snacks and Ruler of the Cuddle Realm.
\u2003\u2022 We will monitor the meninjini or whatever it’s called. If it gets uppity, we sit on it.
\u2003\u2022 Charlotte is brooding. I think she\u2019s writing poetry. Or trying to send the mini-goomba to Sansi Bar with Tarti. I need to make sure The Karen wears nose plugs when she sleeps. I fear she is not safe right now.
\u2003\u2022 Tartiflette has made a tiny bed for Nugget in a shoebox. I just can\u2019t with her.
\u2003\u2022 I, Luna the COO, am maintaining order through sheer willpower and kibble-based diplomacy. And a clipboard that I don’t have. Gotta go, Tiny LuPone just stole the hearing aids of Collateral Damage. This is going to be fun. Not.<\/p>\n\n

End Log.<\/strong>
If you see a grey-striped kitten whispering to a raisin-sized ghost, don\u2019t ask questions. Just\u2026 walk away slowly. And hug Iaia extra hard.<\/p>\n\n

Filed under:<\/em> Category 7 Catastrophic Medical Drama
Subcategory:<\/em> \u201cNOT A COOKIE, TARTI!!!!!!!.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Password protected. No humans. No Charlotte. Definitely not the miniature LuPone. No spellcheck. 09:06 AM…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":420,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[226,112,232,54,231,81,46,43,229,68,38,114,234,59,137,57,58,228,235,227,233,230,53,48,131,69],"class_list":["post-417","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lunaslogs","tag-brain-tumor-humor","tag-cat-blog","tag-cat-household-drama","tag-cat-humor","tag-cat-stories","tag-catopia-adventures","tag-cats-of-hiss-and-tell","tag-charlotte-the-overcoat","tag-comedy","tag-feline-chaos","tag-funny-cat-blog","tag-funny-cat-tales","tag-grey-striped-kitten","tag-lilith","tag-lilith-witchcraft","tag-luna","tag-luna-the-coo","tag-medical-comedy","tag-meningeenee","tag-meningioma","tag-meninguini","tag-neuro-nonsense","tag-pet-humor","tag-tartiflette-2","tag-tartiflette-chaos","tag-ziggy-stardust"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/luna-cd-mening.webp","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/417","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=417"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/417\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":512,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/417\/revisions\/512"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/420"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=417"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=417"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=417"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}