{"id":408,"date":"2025-05-12T02:01:00","date_gmt":"2025-05-12T02:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/?p=408"},"modified":"2025-08-02T16:23:01","modified_gmt":"2025-08-02T16:23:01","slug":"group-chat-la-resistance-feline","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/group-chat-la-resistance-feline\/","title":{"rendered":"Group Chat: \u201cLa R\u00e9sistance F\u00e9line\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Participants:<\/strong> Charlotte (admin), Luna, Lilith, Ziggy, Willow, and\u2026 oh no.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"Charlotte:<\/strong>
Roll call. Who ELSE woke up with their tail braided and their snacks alphabetized by shape? Iaia was gone for like 17 minutes and Chimpi already spilled a bowl of kibbles, tripped over her own cape, and declared herself \u201ctemporary assistant minion-in-chief.\u201d I\u2019m not even kidding. I am\u2014
Hold on I need to hiss into a pillow.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Lilith:<\/strong>
raises paw<\/em>
She rearranged my witch stones into a smiley face. A SMILEY FACE. That\u2019s not how you summon anything except maybe a stupid cheerful demon. And she knocked over the basil again. The fourth time. It\u2019s not even catnip, it\u2019s just vibes at this point.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Ziggy Stardust:<\/strong>
Wait\u2026 so it wasn\u2019t an earthquake?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Luna:<\/strong>
No, Ziggy. It was Tartiflette trying to climb the fridge to \u201cget a better view of her kingdom.\u201d Also she told Em that they are her bestie forever. She followed them around humming what she called her \u201cminion theme song.\u201d It was just squeaky meows and one fart. Also, she dragged her blanket into the middle of the hallway and said it was her \u201ccommand cloud.\u201d Then fell asleep on it like a smug bean.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Ziggy:<\/strong>
Why is there a spoon duct-taped to my paw?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Charlotte:<\/strong>
Because Chimpiflette happened. She put a crayon drawing of herself and Em on my favorite scratching post. Caption: \u201cBEST FWIENDS 5EVER EVEN IF THEY CRY.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Willow:<\/strong>
She brought me my mamooth. Which I appreciate. Except it was covered on loose couscous and a caterpillar named Greg. She asked if she could \u201chelp with security\u201d and then tackled a sock.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Luna:<\/strong>
I caught her whispering to Em that Charlotte never even hunted a lizard. She\u2019s sowing dissent!!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Charlotte:<\/strong>
I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW I ONCE FOUGHT A PINECONE TO DEATH.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Lilith:<\/strong>
She left me a note this morning. It said: \u201cDear Lillie, I love your shadow. It\u2019s spicy.\u201d I\u2019m equal parts flattered and terrified. She tried to clean my ears earlier. She is ONE INCH TALL. Who does she think she is???<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Ziggy:<\/strong>
Um\u2026 I have a question.
Is yogurt supposed to live on paws now? Asking for a friend. Who might have slipped in it. And sat in it. And maybe licked a plug socket.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Lilith:<\/strong>
SHE put it there, Ziggy. It was a \u201cscience experiment,\u201d apparently. She said she was testing gravity.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Willow:<\/strong>
I literally saw her put her paw in my food, then whisper \u201cno witnesses.\u201d She\u2019s cute but she\u2019s chaos. Also, Tarti tried to ride me like a horse.
I\u2019m a LADY. A delicate old soul with arthritis. She shouted \u201cOnward noble steed!\u201d I lay down out of protest and she just used me as a cushion.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"[TARTIFLETTE has joined the chat.]<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Tartiflette:<\/strong>
HELLO EVERYBUDDY!
I made a tiny cape for Em but they ran away and now I\u2019m sad BUT THEN I ATE A BLUE THING UNDER THE SOFA and now I can see smells!!!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Willow:<\/strong>
Sweetie\u2026 what was the blue thing?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Tartiflette:<\/strong>
It whispered secrets and tasted like dust and mysteryyyyyy!!!
Also I painted Ziggy\u2019s paw yogurt color! ART.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Ziggy:<\/strong>
This is not paint. This is key lime pie yogurt. And it\u2019s in my ear.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Tartiflette:<\/strong>
GASP A new place to put yogurt! You\u2019re a GENIUS, Ziggy!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Charlotte:<\/strong>
\u2026I need a sedative.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Lilith:<\/strong>
\u2026I need an exorcist.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Ziggy:<\/strong>
\u2026I need a mop.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Willow:<\/strong>
\u2026I need a therapist.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Luna:<\/strong>
\u2026She needs Jesus.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Tartiflette:<\/strong>
Heeheeheehee!!
Love you all SO MUCH!!!
Ok bye now gonna go eat the flower you told me not to eat!!! And I glued all my toes together by accident!!! Toodles!!!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

[TARTIFLETTE has left the chat.]<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n

Ziggy Stardust:<\/strong>
Should we text Iaia?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Charlotte:<\/strong>
No. Let her rest. But when she comes home, she\u2019s finding glitter in her shoes and this idiot asleep in her luggage.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Ziggy Stardust:<\/strong>
I\u2019m still stuck to a yogurt lid.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"[Em has joined the chat.]<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Em:<\/strong>
Help.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Charlotte:<\/strong>
Blink twice if you\u2019re being used as a plush toy.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Em:<\/strong>
Please come get her. She\u2019s wearing a napkin as a skirt and singing to the thermostat.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Charlotte:<\/strong>
No can do, friend.
You\u2019re her \u201cfwuffy muse\u201d now. You lie in the bed you\u2019ve been danced on.<\/p>\n

\"\" “<\/strong>Custard pudding” by Ricky Wei<\/b><\/em><\/p>\n

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Participants: Charlotte (admin), Luna, Lilith, Ziggy, Willow, and\u2026 oh no. Charlotte:Roll call. Who ELSE woke…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":413,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,31],"tags":[112,40,54,140,81,46,50,221,43,225,83,198,38,184,114,224,217,223,137,220,149,53,131,123,139,219,218,222],"class_list":["post-408","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-catchats","category-tartifletteszoomies","tag-cat-blog","tag-cat-chaos","tag-cat-humor","tag-cat-sitter-em","tag-catopia-adventures","tag-cats-of-hiss-and-tell","tag-charlotte","tag-charlotte-meltdown","tag-charlotte-the-overcoat","tag-em-hostage","tag-feline-drama","tag-feline-satire","tag-funny-cat-blog","tag-funny-cat-post","tag-funny-cat-tales","tag-glitter-crimes","tag-group-chat","tag-household-madness","tag-lilith-witchcraft","tag-luna-coo","tag-luna-coo-cat","tag-pet-humor","tag-tartiflette-chaos","tag-tartiflette-trouble","tag-willow-elder-dog","tag-willow-protest","tag-yogurt-incident","tag-ziggy-disaster"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/Cat-Brigade-in-Cozy-Living-Room.webp","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/408","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=408"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/408\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":516,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/408\/revisions\/516"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/413"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=408"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=408"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=408"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}