{"id":267,"date":"2025-01-10T23:27:00","date_gmt":"2025-01-10T23:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/?p=267"},"modified":"2025-08-02T16:42:45","modified_gmt":"2025-08-02T16:42:45","slug":"lunas-log","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/lunas-log\/","title":{"rendered":"Luna\u2019s Log"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Episode: The Human Is Dramatic Again<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

Filed by Chief Operations Officer Luna, aka Superchat\u2122 \u2013 American Edition<\/em><\/p>\n\n

\ud83d\udcc5 Stardate:<\/strong> 12:00 hours
\ud83c\udfaf Mission Objective:<\/strong> Evaluate emergency whining
\ud83d\udc69\u200d\u2695\ufe0f Subject:<\/strong> The Human (Karen)
\ud83d\udca1 Reported Condition:<\/strong> \u201cI am dying,\u201d she claimed.<\/p>\n

\n


At 12:00 hours,the loud human collapsed onto the bed, groaning. “I am dying,” she announced.
I immediately assessed the situation. She only has a bad cold, no need to be a drama queen. She watches way too much RuPaul.<\/h4>\n\n

Symptoms:<\/strong>\u00a0Flopped over. Whining. General drama. More mucus than on a Ghostbusters movie.
Diagnosis:<\/strong>\u00a097% chance of exaggeration, but she has a cold.
Treatment:<\/strong>\u00a0A reassuring yet firm intervention. No, no turnip truck ran over you last night.<\/p>\n\n

\"\"I walked over, pressed my wet nose to her cheek, and gave my professional opinion:\u00a0“No, you are not. This is very dramatic, Karen.”
She groaned again. My Willow, the most perfect goggie in the universe, gasped in alarm. \u201cNoooooo! Not my human! WHO WILL TUCK ME IN AT NIGHT??”
I soothed her immediately with purr therapy and gentle headbutts.
“She is fine, love. She is just being a little silly. Well, a lot.”<\/p>\n\n

And, then, of course, the rest of the household arrived.\u00a0Charlotte\u00a0strolled in, glanced at the scene, and rolled her eyes.
“Karens will Karen. FML.”\u00a0Then she left, she is always very unhelpful. Calicos are like this.
Lilith arrived, dramatically standing in the doorway like a gothic novel heroine:\u00a0
“Oh no\u2026 what a tragic fate\u2026 if only we had prepared\u2026 if only we had more treats stored away\u2026”.
Ziggy\u00a0waddled in next, zero concern, just curiosity.\u00a0“So\u2026 if she dies, does that mean extra breakfast?”
And then\u2026\u00a0Tartiflette,\u00a0the baby, ran into the room, full of energy and full of nonsense.
“Dyin’? You dyin’, mama??”
Her tail fluffed in excitement.
“Can I hab ur crunchies??”<\/p>\n\n

I sighed deeply. Sometimes they are too much.
I reassured Willow that everything was under control, dismissed Charlotte\u2019s attitude, gently redirected Lilith\u2019s melodrama, informed Ziggy that, no, food distribution will remain unchanged, explained to Tartiflette that I am in charge of food and she may not eat the human\u2019s crunchies and sat on the human\u2019s chest for observation. She still has a pulse.<\/p>\n\n

Verdict:<\/strong> The Karen, with a nose like a circus clown, will live but needs to settle down, take tea with honey and use Vicksvaporrub or whatever is called.<\/p>\n\n

Now, if you\u2019ll excuse me, I have a house to run.
End of report.<\/strong>
Luna, Chief Operations Officer & Best Cat Ever<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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