{"id":1092,"date":"2026-02-19T02:45:52","date_gmt":"2026-02-19T02:45:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/?p=1092"},"modified":"2026-02-19T02:53:43","modified_gmt":"2026-02-19T02:53:43","slug":"luna-attempts-dino-pedagogy-a-tragedy-3-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/luna-attempts-dino-pedagogy-a-tragedy-3-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Luna attempts dino pedagogy (a tragedy) 3\/3"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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\"\"Luna<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(standing before a carefully arranged learning area)<\/em><\/span>: I have prepared an age-appropriate, evidence-based curriculum for Princess Tartirexy.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
(On the floor: flashcards, a tiny whiteboard, a plush dinosaur, and a book titled\u00a0<\/em><\/span>\u201cDINOSAURS: FACTS, NOT FEELINGS.\u201d<\/strong><\/span>)<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Charlotte<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(from across the room)<\/em><\/span>: This will end in tears. She has the attention span of a popcorn kernel.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>: Not if everyone cooperates.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Charlotte<\/strong><\/span>: *eye roll*<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(sits for exactly 1.3 seconds)<\/em><\/span>: I READY.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(beaming)<\/em><\/span>: Excellent! Lesson one:\u00a0What is a dinosaur?<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(without hesitation)<\/em><\/span>: ME.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>(pause)<\/em><\/span>: \u2026Close, but…<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Charlotte (laughing)<\/strong><\/span>: She\u2019s already ahead of you.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>(holds up flashcard)<\/em><\/span>: This is a\u00a0Tyrannosaurus rex<\/strong><\/span>.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(narrows eyes)<\/em><\/span>: NO. That me\u2019s uncle.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>: Dinosaurs don\u2019t have uncles.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(deeply offended)<\/em><\/span>: EVERYBODY HAS UNCLES.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(regroups)<\/em><\/span>: Okay. New approach. Dinosaurs lived millions of years ago…<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>: YESTERDAY.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>: No. MUCH earlier.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(thinking hard)<\/em><\/span>: \u2026Before cookies?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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(Charlotte snorts.)<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(softly)<\/em><\/span>: Yes. Before cookies.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(gasp of horror)<\/em><\/span>: THEN BAD TIME.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(trying visuals)<\/em><\/span>: Dinosaurs were reptiles.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(gasps, clutches chest)<\/em><\/span>: I AM WARM. REPTILES COLD. YOU LYING.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Charlotte<\/em><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(sipping imaginary tea and enjoying the lesson)<\/em><\/span>: She has you there.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(desperate)<\/em><\/span>: Some dinosaurs had feathers.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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(Dead silence.)<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\"\"Charlotte<\/em><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(slow, lethal turn)<\/em><\/span>: Luna, no\u2026too late.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(eyes light up)<\/em><\/span>: FEATHERS???<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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(She immediately grabs a pillow, shakes it violently, feathers explode everywhere.)<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(screaming)<\/em><\/span>: I EVOLVE.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(coughing, covered in fluff)<\/em><\/span>: THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Charlotte<\/em><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(standing)<\/em><\/span>: I tried to warn you! Abort. Abort immediately.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(raising voice)<\/em><\/span>: NO. Lesson two: extinction events!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(ears perk up)<\/em><\/span>: PARTY???<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>: No. A meteor hit…<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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(Tartirexy launches herself at the whiteboard.)<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\"\"Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>: METEOR ME.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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(She knocks it over. Marker rolls away. Civilization ends.)<\/em><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(voice cracking)<\/em><\/span>: Dinosaurs did not survive!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0(points at herself)<\/em><\/span>: LOOK.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Charlotte<\/em><\/strong><\/span>:<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0She wins.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna (scribbling on a fresh whiteboard):\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>Okay, deep breath. New day, new lesson. “Triassic. Jurassic. Cretaceous.” (Pauses, glares behind her<\/em><\/span>) NOT a law firm, Tartiflette.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\"\"Tartirexy (wearing a stegosaurus tail backwards, wielding a half-eaten crayon):\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>I AM CRE TAYSHUS. And this is my kingdom. (Licks the whiteboard.<\/em><\/span>)<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Charlotte (sipping tea from a mug that says \u201cQueen of Sass\u201d):\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>It\u2019s 8 am and she\u2019s already licking history.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna:\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>Today, we learn about fossil records. (flips to a fossil chart<\/em><\/span>) These are bones. From the past. They tell us things.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\"\"Tartirexy:\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>I HAVE BONES! (Puts on a skeletal Halloween costume, gets stuck, falls over face first.<\/em><\/span>)<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Charlotte (to no one):\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>And yet, no extinction event has wiped\u00a0her<\/em><\/span>\u00a0out.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna (ignoring everyone with the calm of someone absolutely not okay):\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>Right. Moving on. Let\u2019s simulate evolution using these clay models.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy (smushing the clay):\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>I MADE A SPAGHETTISAURUS!!! (Holds up a pasta-covered lump. Names it \u201cFrank.\u201d<\/em><\/span>)<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\"\"Charlotte: Why does she always name everything?\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>Frank the Spaghettisaurus, the Smithsonian will\u00a0love<\/em><\/span>\u00a0this.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy:\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>NEXT CHAPTER: CATCANOLOGIC ERA! (Hurls the textbook across the room<\/em><\/span>) All mammals were CATS and we RODE METEORS like JETSKIS!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\"\"Charlotte (on the floor laughing):\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>I want this on a mural, in space.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Luna (staring at a crayon drawing of a T. rex eating cookies labeled \u201cKarenosaurus\u201d):\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>I need a sabbatical.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tartirexy (cuddling the fossil chart):\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>I learneded SO MUCH! Bones are past cats! Meteors are spicy! Frank is our god now!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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