{"id":1055,"date":"2026-01-13T21:03:19","date_gmt":"2026-01-13T21:03:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/?p=1055"},"modified":"2026-01-13T21:08:34","modified_gmt":"2026-01-13T21:08:34","slug":"lunas-incident-report-tartiflettes-unauthorized-career-move","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/lunas-incident-report-tartiflettes-unauthorized-career-move\/","title":{"rendered":"Luna\u2019s Incident Report: Tartiflette\u2019s Unauthorized Career Move"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

\"\"Subject:<\/strong>Tartiflette is now\u2026 a nurse???<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Date<\/strong>: I don\u2019t know, I can\u2019t keep track of time anymore.<\/em>
    Filed by:<\/strong> Luna, Cat. Black. Really tired.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    <\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    Luna:<\/strong> Charlotte, check your bingo cards. Where does it say that the Chaos Goblin was going to become Head Nurse? Because I sure don\u2019t see it on mine! This morning at around 09:42, I was getting ready to file a complaint about<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/p>\n

    \u00a0someone (TARTIFLETTE<\/em>) using my stethoscope as a jump rope, when I got hit with the most disturbing plot twist you can imagine: Tartiflette is now Karen\u2019s nurse. And, brace yourself, she\u2019s actually pretty good at it. La Tartifletta was wearing tiny scrubs and she had a clipboard made from a cereal box. And she calls herself Firenza Kittengale.<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    I nearly had a heart attack. She had syringes, bandages and she followed Karen to the bathroom waving a half walnut shell and demanding a urine sample.<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    Charlotte: <\/strong>Tortilla Flat is such a piece of work! She\u2019s awful, awful and relentless. Where does she get these things from? I will tell you where: Karen, the enabler with two thumbs. What I had on my card was:<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

      \n
    • \n
        <\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        \u00a0<\/p>\n

          \n
        • \n
            \n
          • \u201cFartiflette gets her head stuck in a pill organizer and Karen has to rescue her with shears\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

            <\/p>\n

            <\/p>\n

              \n
            • \n
                \n
              • \u201cThe chaos goblin prescribes glitter for pain\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                <\/p>\n

                <\/p>\n

                  \n
                • \n
                    \n
                  • \u201cA post-it note appears saying: \u2018DO NOT LET HER NEAR THE SCISSORS\u2019 (oops)\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                    <\/p>\n

                    <\/p>\n

                      \n
                    • \n
                        \n
                      • \u201cTortilla Flat gets shipped to Sansi Bar after singing Chiquitita for the umpteenth time while Karen is under the influence.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        But \u201cTarti becomes Head Nurse\u201d? Nope<\/em>.<\/em> Not even on the wildcard square. What the hell is going on now???<\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        \"\"Luna:<\/strong> I need to get the stethoscope out of the crouton drawer and block access to Karen\u2019s chart (Tarti is writing with crayons. Again.) Somehow, I\u2019m feeling a mix of pride, terror, and genuine admiration at the same time. Tarti is administering meds with surprising accuracy, labeling Karen\u2019s pill bottles with paw stickers, adjusting the ice machine like she\u2019s done it a million times in an orthopedic ward and fluffing the pillow before gently headbutting Karen and tucking her in like she\u2019s a real pro<\/em>.<\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        Oh, and she sang\u00a0Chiquitita<\/em>\u00a0twice. Once in Swedish. Don\u2019t even ask.<\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        Charlotte: <\/strong>Has she been watching TikTok again?? I thought you blocked that!! Maybe she thinks this is a new kind of game where the goal is \u201ckeep Karen alive\u201d instead of \u201cknock everything off the counter.\u201d<\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        Luna: <\/strong>Yeah, the issue is she keeps calling herself \u201cFirenza Kittengale, Nurse Supreme,\u201d tried to check Willow\u2019s blood pressure with a measuring tape and a marshmallow, and made ME the \u201cemotional support intern,\u201d insisting I\u2019m on call \u201c24\/7, sorry, it\u2019s union rules.\u201d Where does she come up with this stuff??? Karen\u2019s got a tiny, striped nurse. And she\u2019s absolutely killing it. (Not literally. Yet.)<\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        With jaw still on the floor,
                        Luna<\/p>\n

                        \"\"<\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\n

                        <\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                        Subject:Tartiflette is now\u2026 a nurse??? Date: I don\u2019t know, I can\u2019t keep track of time…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1057,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,251,432],"tags":[463,461,458,460,112,470,452,471,468,453,465,50,457,451,365,467,455,456,454,459,469,466,48,462],"class_list":["post-1055","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-catchats","category-general-kerfuffles","category-karens-surgery","tag-felinestorytelling","tag-funnnycatblog","tag-absurd-comedy","tag-caregiving-with-cats","tag-cat-blog","tag-catblog","tag-cathumor","tag-catopiaadventures-2","tag-catsofhissandtell","tag-chaos-goblin","tag-chaotic-kindness","tag-charlotte","tag-chiquitita","tag-florence-nightingale-parody","tag-funny-cats","tag-hissandtell","tag-luna-reports","tag-medical-chaos","tag-nurse-cats","tag-pet-shenanigans","tag-petshumor","tag-recovery-humor","tag-tartiflette-2","tag-veterinary-parody"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/Tarti-nurse.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1055","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1055"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1055\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1063,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1055\/revisions\/1063"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1057"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1055"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1055"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pasioncondal.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1055"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}