Filed under: Important Mission Things
Time: Morning-ish. Or snack o’clock.
Dictated to Luna while dangling from a rubber bat
I waked up and Karen was doing The Faces.
Not the happy ones. The owwie ones.
So I followed her. I is helpful. I supervise.
She open The Closet. The Closet of Wonders and Screams.
There are bins. There are bags. There are Things With Eyes.
I LOVES IT.
So I:
– Climbed inside a bin. Sat on a ghost. Ghost went “meh.”
– Stole a skeleton hand. Now is my hand.
– Chewed a fake spider leg. Tasted crunchy like victory.
– Rolled in a pile of gauze. Karen said “TARTI NO” but I say “TARTI YES.”
Then I saw The Big Tall Skellington.
He was looking at my Karen with his hollowy eyes. So I YELLED at him.
“HEY! YOU GET OFF MY KAREN!”
Then I launched.
Missed.
Landed in a bowl of glitter eyeballs. Still counts as bravery.
Karen moved slow today. Her back said “snap crackle nope.”
So I stayed close. Sat on her foot. Looked very small and brave.
When she bendy to pick up spooky clown head, I jumped in her hoodie pocket.
That’s called tactical support.
Later, I made a new friend. A plastic crow. His name is Stabby.
I love him.
Then I helped by pushing one whole bin down the hall.
Okay, I was inside it. But gravity helped, and gravity is my friend.
THINGS I DID THAT WERE HELPFUL:
– Yelled at ghosts.
– Licked Karen’s elbow.
– Sat on a fog machine.
– Got stuck inside a witch hat (again).
– Wore it like a cape (very heroic).
– Fell asleep in the wreath bin. Snored like a champion.
THINGS I PLAN TO DO TOMORROW:
– Fight inflatable spider. Win.
– Put pumpkin in Collateral Damage’s shoe.
– Eat one string of cobweb. Only one (maybe two).
– Help with tape gun. Mostly lick it.
This house is my kingdom.
Karen is the queen.
I am her goblin knight. I will defend her from boxes and skeletons and sadness and all the mean things.
Also if I find the glitter again I will eat it.
That is my solemn vow.
🐾 – Tartiflette, Chaos Intern and Bombardeo Volunteer
