Hi, it’s me, Tarti!
Mama sayz I gotta STOP “shopping” on the counterz cuz it iz NOT Walmart (but iz SHE sure?? What iz a Walmart? So many fun thingz to knock down and inspect on da floor! Counter shopping iz life!!).
She yells, “STOP IT, TARTI!” but iz like… what if I don’t?
I tried a plant. Crunchy, NOT a cookie. Disappointing.
Mama said, “NO PLANTS, TARTI!” but iz she planting da wrong plants? Maybe I needz to try more.
Iz research.
Lilith iz SCARY. She does not like me. So I hide in my litterbox fort when she looks at me. Safe zone!
But Charlotte iz my evil overcoat.
She iz grumpy, bossy, and sighs, “f*** my life,” (mama does not let me say that word) all da time—
but she iz my QUEEN. I iz her minion.
One day, she will say, “good minion, Tarti!”
One day.
I LOVE Mommy cuddlez!
I run under her feet to tell her!
Then she trips, and we almost iz on da floor together!
She laffs and calls me “trip hazard,” but iz LOVE.
Bruno iz my BFF.
We eat cookies, we watc
h birdies and talk about overcoats.Bruno iz da best.
Ok, bye!
Gonna go shopping for more fun thingz and cookie plants.
Filed under: Scientific Catventures, Minion Reports, Counter Chaos
— Tartiflette (Certified Trip Hazard, Cookie Explorer, and Hopeful Minion
