Operation: Google the Blob Thing (In Secret, So Charlotte Doesn’t Call Me Stupid)
Time Stamp: 10:13 AM
Location: Under the desk, next to the router, full Wi-Fi bars. Tactical position.
A chaotic Google session it is.
Starring: Luna (freaked out but pretending to be composed), Tartiflette (absolutely no help), and Charlotte (hovering over Luna’s shoulder, judging everything. No help either).
Everyone’s trying to understand these “meningofandangos” and Google is not cooperating. Autocorrect is drunk. Ads are popping up. Tartiflette is clicking things. Someone (Tarti, this means you) accidentally buys a used stethoscope.
Objective:
Research Mom’s brain invaders.
Learn the correct terminology.
Understand implications.
Stop calling them “meningocornettos.”
Search Attempt #1:
“Two brain oomas”
Results:
- “Did you mean: brain tumors?”
- “What are olfactory hallucinations?”
- “10 signs you may already be dead”
Status: Off to a disturbing start.
Search Attempt #2:
“Meninjamama tumors head”
Top results:
- Ninja-themed baby shower decor
- A Buzzfeed quiz: “Which brain lobe are you based on your star sign?”
- An image of a fruit basket?
Status: The query was last seen heading toward a rabbit hole with no intention of returning.
Charlotte (hovering):
“What the hell is a meninjamama?? Are you researching brain tumors or hosting a brunch??”
Search Attempt #3:
“Menengina”
(Immediately corrected to “vaginal health supplements”)
Luna:
SCREAMING INTERNALLY
Tartiflette (suddenly appears):
“Ooooh is this the Snack Machine Window? Can I click the flashing button that says ‘WIN A SCAN’?”
Charlotte:
“If you let the baby click one more ad about toe fungus, I am removing your clipboard. Permanently. Stay still Chimpi!!!!!!”
Search Attempt #4:
“Meningee… oh god. Brain blobs. Head invaders. Human cranial houseguests.”
Results:
- Klaatu barada nikto
- “You’re not alone: What to do when your brain grows a guest.”
- WebMD article that says she’s probably fine, but also might be dying.
Luna:
🤡
Pop-up ad appears:
“💀 Buy bulk MRI stickers for your homeschool anatomy class! 💀”
Tartiflette (clicks instantly):
“I BOUGHT 73.”
Charlotte (snatching laptop):
“That’s it. Move. You’re banned. You too. I’m starting over.”
Charlotte’s Search:
“Meningeemoma + cat-friendly explanation + small words”
Top result:
- “Meningiomas are typically benign tumors arising from the meninges, the protective membranes covering the brain and spinal cord…”
Charlotte:
“…Aha. Finally. Real info.”
Pause.
“…Wait. Protective membranes? Like… saran wrap??”
Luna (quietly):
“I told you they sounded squishy.”
Final Summary:
- Nobody still knows how to say it.
- Charlotte found some real answers, then rage-quit when she learned humans just “watch and wait.” That’s the calico for you.
- Tartiflette accidentally signed them up for a neuroscience webinar hosted by “Dr. Bob and his Ferret.”
Conclusion:
We are no closer to understanding the blobs.
But now we have 73 MRI stickers, a used purple stethoscope, a fear of WebMD, and a mystery ferret named Dr. Bob.
Still calling them the mango-nomas until further notice.
—
Luna, COO, Confused Googler, Smell Sympathizer
