Dear humans (and my adored Evil Overcoat),
Hi! It’s me, Tarti!
Charlotte, my beloved evil overcoat, helped me rewrite this because she said my first version was too bubbly, chaotic, and full of cookie crumbs (oops). She also corrected my spelling, which made mommy laugh and say,
“If the kitty who spells it ‘overcoat’ is fixing your spelling, we might have bigger problems.”
(Charlotte pretended not to hear, but I saw her ears twitch!)
So, exciting news!
I’m officially launching “Cuddles & Cookies™ (C&C).”
This is super serious and not at all a sneaky plan to steal yummy cookies. Maybe.
Here’s my totally foolproof plan:
1. Cookie party time:
Put all cookies somewhere I can easily reach. I promise to only take a few bites from each.
Science, people!
If some disappear mysteriously, blame Charlotte—she has questionable morals.
2. Taste testing fun:
I will nibble every single cookie personally (and possibly knock a few off the table for extra excitement). Expect crumbs and giggles, my precision technique is still developing.
It’s science, okay?
Butcookie-testing is fun!.
3. Cuddle celebration:
Great cookies mean epic cuddle sessions!
Think big snuggles, lap invasions, happy headbutts, and loud purrs.
Okay cookies might get a quick cuddle.
Bad cookies… well, I might pretend not to know you (just kidding, I’ll still cuddle, but I’ll look slightly disappointed).
Terrible cookies? Your dignity may never recover from the dramatics.
But I never have found a cookie I don’t like!
4. Official (sort of) certificate:
You get a special cookie-and-cuddle rating certificate!
It might have a little drool, decorative bite marks, tiny paw prints, and possibly mysterious cookie crumbs.
Charlotte says it’s very official!
Charlotte, my amazing evil overcoat (personal grammar and spelling police, and certified fun-sponge), says:
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- Cookies are never “stolen,” only “borrowed indefinitely.” (Okay, Charlotte!)
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- Absolutely no baby talk is allowed—though occasional excited squeaks are OK.
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- I am a bundle of chaos but I think that I am a happy tornado in kitten form.
Great cookies = Super amazing cuddles.
Bad cookies = Still cuddles, but with extra sighs.
Hugs and happy chaos,
Tartiflette, Chief Kitten of Cuddles & Cookies™
(Lovingly spell-checked by my adorable evil overcoat who totally loves me, even when she’s sighing.)
Filed under: Sugar & Sighs | Cookie Chaos |
– The Karen (keeping an eye on the snack cabinet)
