Charlotte:
Alert: Iaia’s feeling gloomy again. Seriously, Karen? Again? Can’t we have ONE drama-free afternoon? Let’s go, minions, assemble!! Operation Emotional Support Dragon is a go! Status updates, NOW.
Tartiflette:
iz knockeded big shiny thingy down. Went CRASH. So bootiful! Mommy no smiling tho.
Charlotte:
Oh for Bastet’s sake, Chimpiflette, we aim for laughter, not trauma
Lilith:
Luna and I synchronized our nap schedule. Does this help mom?
Ziggy:
Wait, you guys can text? I’ve just been licking this phone all day.
Lilith:
Luna and I initiated synchronized purring session at precisely 15:02. Mom smiled slightly but stopped. Need backup.
Ziggy:
Sorry, I fell asleep and I just woke up. What’s going on? Why is Iaia sad?
Charlotte:
Oh, Zig. Do keep up, darling. Iaia requires immediate cheerification. Deploy emotional support tactics.
Tartiflette:
I tried! I sitz on Iaia’s face! Warmed face is happy face?
Charlotte:
Tartiflop, for the thousandth time, faces are not chairs. And NO MORE property damage.
Ziggy:
Oops. Face-sitting isn’t cheerful? I’ll cancel my 4:00 PM appointment. And make myself a noodle.
Tartiflette:
Potato noodle! Toodle!!
Charlotte:
Dear Bastet, help me.
Tartiflette:
Iz knockeded over Iaia’s mug!!!. yay me!!.
Charlotte:
Oh, fantastic move, Tartipocalypse. I’m sure coffee-stained floors are the new Prozac.
Lilith:
The Moon rises.
Luna:
And shadows whisper.
Charlotte:
Great. Just what I needed. The Addams sisters checking in from the attic. Anyone here speak Goth?
Ziggy:
Hello? I taste colors. Why is this rectangle buzzing again?
Charlotte:
Ziggy, sweetheart, stop licking the phone. We’ve discussed this.
Lilith:
We have commenced our synchronized stare from behind the curtain.
Luna:
Our presence will comfort her subconscious.
Charlotte:
Or terrify her into wellness. Whichever. Keep doing your creepy twin stuff; maybe you’ll exorcise her sadness. Or summon something worse.
Tartiflette:
Overcoat, let’s sing mommy the song of our people!!!. Loudly. At 4 AM. Iz nice!!!
Charlotte:
Brilliant, Tortilla Flat. Because sleep deprivation is totally a known cure for melancholy.
Ziggy:
Wait, are we singing? I thought we were tasting rectangles.
Charlotte:
Ziggy, bless your tiny, damaged brain. No rectangle-eating today.
Lilith:
Our presence is intensifying.
Luna:
She senses us.
Charlotte:
Okay, Poe and Lovecraft, dial it back. We’re comforting her, not haunting her.
Tartiflette:
Commencing Operation Dizzy Potato immediately.
Charlotte:
I can’t believe this is my life. Karen, you better appreciate what I put up with.
Lilith:
Night approaches.
Luna:
Stars whisper secrets.
Charlotte:
Wonderful. Edgar Allan Paw and Stephen Kitten are back. Maybe dial down the creepy mysticism? Iaia’s already moody enough.
Ziggy:
I’m here too! I’ve tasted this rectangle all day. It tastes sad. Should I keep licking it?
Charlotte:
Zig, darling, that’s literally your ONLY job. Carry on.
Tartiflette:
Found shiny ting!! I knocked it! It went BANG! Gud noise, many sparklez! Iaia shouting ‘TARTI NO!’—she happy, rite?
Charlotte:
Oh, Tartipocalypse, you’re going to get us all evicted. But sure, Karen totally loves when expensive things shatter.
Lilith:
We’re sending soothing vibes.
Luna:
Darkness comforts.
Charlotte:
Twins, you are literally terrifying. Can we not summon the Catpocalypse today? Save it for Halloween.
Ziggy:
Rectangle still sad. Need more licks.
Charlotte:
Fine, lick away, Zig. If Karen complains about a slobbery phone, I’ll blame Tartiflette.
Tartiflette:
Iz okay! I blame me too! I iz potato, potatoz gud at shiny tings! Floor iz happy! Mommy be happy too, rite?
Charlotte:
Sure, my tiny fuzzy chaos goblin. You keep telling yourself that.
Lilith:
We shall bring the shadow cuddles.
Luna:
And the dark purrs.
Charlotte:
Sure. Great. Can’t imagine why Karen’s gloomy, surrounded by witches, potato chaos, and the licking bandit.
Tartiflette:
Overcoat! I find more shiny ting!!!
Charlotte:
Of course you did. Bastet help me, it’s going to be a long night.
