Self-Introduction:
“I am Charlotte, Queen of this household, Commander-in-Chief of the Overcoat Army, Duchess of the Arctic Circle, and Senior Partner at the firm of Charlotte, Charlotte & Also Charlotte. My rule is absolute, my word is law, and my glare alone has caused grown men to reevaluate their life choices. I operate on a strict policy of efficiency, intimidation, and snack acquisition. Everyone here serves under my benevolent (and occasionally sharp-clawed) leadership. Do not cross me. Do not touch my throne (the yellow velvet chair). Don’t breath in my general direction. And for the love of Bastet, do not interrupt my naps with your trivial mortal problems.”
What the Others Say:
Ziggy Stardust:
“She thinks she’s a Slytherin but the Sorting Hat said Hufflepuff. The meltdown was… delicious. I’ve never seen so much rage over being called ‘loyal.’”
Luna:
“If she ran Hogwarts, you’d get expelled for breathing too loudly during her coffee time. Honestly, the most exhausting part of my job is covering for her ‘executive decisions.’”
Lilith:
“She radiates the energy of a woman who would burn a village for looking at her funny… but also sends me passive-aggressive notes written in glitter pen. I respect the aesthetic.”
Tartiflette:
“She calls me ‘minion,’ but doesn’t let me do anything fun, like set traps. I think she’s secretly jealous of my Gryffindor status. Also, she hisses when I try to share my fox Bruno with her.”
Karen (a.k.a. Me):
“She was born in my bed, crowned herself queen before her eyes even opened, and has been running a feline dictatorship ever since. I love her, but I live in fear of becoming her next hostile takeover target. Who am I kidding, she is really a softie who loves Churus, petting and kisses”
