Self-Introduction:
“HIHIHI! IâM TARTI!!! I like COOKIES!!! And my fox Bruno!!! And hammocks and sprinting across the house at 3:00 am like Iâm late for a very important meeting that doesnât exist!!! I help! (You donât think itâs helpful but it IS.) And I love singing!!! I nap on Mommyâs feet so she canât escape, I roll in warm laundry like a cinnamon roll of chaos, and I watch the front window like itâs Netflix. OH! I also bring everyone toys, even if you scream âNO THANK YOU, NOT A DEAD BUG.â Iâm BRAVE and FAST and make zero long-term plans. Sometimes it works out! Sometimes it doesnât! Either wayâWHEEEE!!!”
What the Others Say:
Charlotte:
“Sheâs a foghorn made entirely of volume and bad ideas. Also, my so-called âminion.â (Donât quote her on the independence thingâsheâs still my minion. Awful, awful, awful.)”
Ziggy Stardust:
“She tried to leap over me once while I was asleep. I didnât move. If gravity had handled it, that wouldâve been fine.”
Luna:
“She âhelpsâ by knocking over carefully stacked files, then stares at me like I should promote her. Spoiler: sheâs not getting promoted.”
Lilith:
“I could power an entire coven with her energy. I havenât yet⊠but I could. She is raw, untapped chaos magic.”
Karen (a.k.a. Me):
“She was supposed to be a foster. Instead, she ate my heart, my cookies, and my peace of mind. Now she lives here forever. Sweet, fearless, ridiculous⊠and yes, the reason cookies are in maximum-security lockdown.”
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