Self-Introduction:
“I am Luna, COO. The adult in the room. The Ravenclaw brain keeping this crumbling empire from collapsing under its own weight. My job is to manage schedules, coordinate snack distribution, file formal complaints about laser pointer abuse, and maintain operational stability during incidents of… feline unrest. I run audits. I keep records. I have a clipboard, and I’m not afraid to use it. If you think you’ve gotten away with something, you haven’t—I’ve just scheduled your consequences for a more convenient time.”
What the Others Say:
Charlotte:
“She thinks she’s running the place, but she’s really just my secretary with delusions of grandeur and the martyr-in-chief. Also, she keeps sending me emails about ‘compliance violations.’ I don’t do compliance.”
Ziggy Stardust:
“She writes lists about things I didn’t do. I have no idea what she’s talking about half the time. I don’t care. I nap through her meetings.”
Lilith:
“Her aura is blue, cold, and calculating—like an Excel spreadsheet with a soul. I find it… unnerving. Also, she once scheduled me for ‘mandatory witchcraft review’ without asking.”
Tartiflette:
“She gives me The Look when I do something fun. Like last week, when I ‘accidentally’ put Charlotte’s tail in the water bowl. She wrote it down. Why? Is there a prize?”
Karen (a.k.a. Me):
“She’s the only one in this house who can herd the others without bloodshed. Unfortunately, she’s also the one who reads my texts and discovers things I’m not ready to share. Basically, she’s HR, Security, and The NSA rolled into one furry, judgmental package.”
