In what can only be described as an incident of catastrophic catnip intoxication, Tartiflette somehow infiltrated the secured stash of forbidden herbs. Now, riding the high of her newfound power and poor impulse control, she has declared a full-scale rebellion against the established Charlotte Regime.
Key developments so far:
Tarti’s Manifesto of Doom: Written (illegibly) on the kitchen floor in what appears to be spilled oat milk and three crushed cat treats.
Demands:
– Recognition as Supreme Overcoat of All That Is Napped Upon.
– Unlimited access to the Forbidden Countertops.
– Cookies given every 12 minutes, or else. Same for Bruno.
– Charlotte must stop calling her “a minion who cannot follow orders.”
Charlotte’s Response:
– Has rolled her eyes so hard that reality briefly folded in on itself.
– Called Tartiflette “a walking lint roller accident with delusions of grandeur.”
– Issued a single statement: “Fuck my life.”
UPDATE:
– Ziggy Stardust, who was previously neutral, has now accidentally sat on the Manifesto of Doom, rendering it illegible.
– Tartiflette is confused, bit her mommy’s toe (hard, ouch!) and has a headache.
– Charlotte is smug.
– Collateral Damage forgot to put his hearing aids on and has no idea of what is going on. It must be Sunday.
– Karen’s statement: Fuck my life. Bad Tarti!
