Greetings, my loyal subjects and fellow cats of Facebook.
I, Charlotte the Magnificent, the ever-suffering queen of this household, must inform you of the latest travesty in feline justice. This morning, Tartiflette the Tiny Tyrant—the insufferable youngest of our pack—committed heinous acts of mayhem. She knocked salt off the kitchen cart (how pedestrian), raced around with the energy of a caffeinated squirrel, and yet… she was rewarded.
Yes, you read that correctly. Instead of swift and appropriate consequences (banishment to Sansi Bar, perhaps?), she received a window hammock. A throne-like perch fit for royalty, but given to the little criminal. This, my friends, is an outrage.
I, Charlotte, demand justice. My impeccable behavior (mostly) and world domination schemes are met with indifference, while this… this hooligan gets pampered.
To rectify this gross injustice, I am consulting with Jess the Pawyer, the most fearsome feline attorney in the land. I know that Jess does not specialize in cases of “Sibling Inequity and General Outrage.” but I am sure we can find an angle here involving humans. Together, we will expose this mockery of fairness and demand reparations:
Another dragon.
Unlimited Churus.
STOP statim calling me “Overcoat”, evil or not.
That Tartiflette sleeps in the neighbor’s shed.
This household needs order, not chaos in kitten form. Let it be known that I, Charlotte, will not rest until fairness prevails. Or until someone gives me a window hammock, too. Preferably lined with velvet.
Yours in indignation,
Charlotte
(The Only Cat Who Matters, Obviously)
(“FML. How much is to ship all of them to Chicago?” – The Karen.)
