(Pinned: This is a safe space. No sudden singing.)
Charlotte (aka The Overcoat)
3:02 AM
IS THERE A REASON the baby is singing again in the middle of the night? It’s not even light out. She’s singing again. I woke up to a medley of Bohemian Rhapsody and what I think was the 
McDonald’s jingle??
Ziggy Stardust
3:04 AM
Wait, she’s singing? I thought I was dreaming that the microwave was in labor.
Lilith
3:04 AM
I heard it too. At first I thought she was possessed. Then I remembered: she’s just theatrical. I was astral projected into a tuna field and everything. Gone. All gone. That’s sacred, bitch.
Luna (COO of Everything)
3:05 AM
Logged into the sitter cam. Baby’s doing jazz paws. Alone. No audience. No shame.
Marking this as “unhinged behavior – moderate risk.”I think she is singing Les Misérables. How appropriate.
(Note to myself: check copyright status.)
Charlotte
3:06 AM
She did a full concert last night on top of the fridge. A cappella. With interpretive tail choreography. She stood there, paw in the air like Barbra
Streisand, and declared,
“THE HILLS ARE ALIVE!”
I’m drafting a formal complaint to Management (aka The Karen).
Ziggy Stardust3:08 AM
So the dishwasher didn’t ask me about the meaning of life? I can’t take it.
I tried covering my ears with a dish towel. She thought it was a game and added clapping.
I need therapy. Or sardines. Or both.
Lilith
3:09 AM
She sang the entire Paw Patrol theme backward, while looking at the wall.
I think she’s summoning something. Probably more
chaos.
And she sang directly at the Roomba.
The Roomba turned around and left.
Luna
3:10 AM
Confirmed: Baby initiated full-scale solo performance at 2:38 AM.
Style: Operatic chaos
Theme: “Cookie I Have Not Been Given”
Uploading clip to Cats Who Need An Exorcist subreddit.
Title: Local Kitten Loses Plot. Family in Denial.
TARTIFLETTE HAS JOINED THE CHAT
Tartiflette
3:11 AM
🎵 I dreamed a dream of tuna gone byyyyyy… 🎵
Charlotte
3:11 AM
I’m calling Sansi Bar Airlines. I don’t care if it doesn’t exist.
It does now. We can call it Study Abroad in Sansi Bar.
Ziggy Stardust
3:12 AM
You guys. She gave me a flower mid-song.But it was a sock.
And not ours.
Do we live in Cats: The Musicalnow?
Lilith
3:13 AM
If she breaks into Memory again, I’m hexing the curtains.
I’ll write the spell for Sansi Bar.
Just need chicken bones and her toothbrush.
Ziggy Stardust
3:14 AM
Someone tie me to the radiator. I’m floating again.
Charlotte
3:15 AM
Dear Karen: We are being held hostage by a musical terrorist.
She has now performed One Day More using three voices and she is ONE kitten.
This shit needs to stop, pronto.
Lilith
3:16 AM
She wore my sock like a beret and sang Do You Hear the Cats Meow.
Ziggy Stardust
3:17 AM
I don’t know if I’m awake.
Did she stage a revolution in the litter box?
Luna
3:18 AM
Affirmative. She stood on the box and meowed:
“THEY SAY I’M JUST A KITTEN…”
Then flung litter like confetti.
We’ll need a mop, a therapist, and two cans of Febreze.
Charlotte
3:19 AM
Karen, this is your circus. This is your clown.
Now we have ACT III: Grief and Hunger, A Ballad.
You need to do something.
Tartiflette
3:20 AM
🎵 I am not a kitteeeeen tooooooo young to knoooow—but old enough to saaaang my wooooe! 🎵
Luna
3:21 AMNoted. Incident logged.
Category: Spontaneous Broadway Explosion
Risk level: Grey tabby
Charlotte
3:22 AM Karen. Fix it. Or I swear to God I will start singing.
The Karen
3:23 AM
…
